I have just noticed that there is something a little wrong (not a lot but a little) with my laptop screen. I have not noticed that before. Yet i can't be sure that it wasn't there yesterday. It seems new to me though, yet it could be that my mind was occupied with more important things last night while i was using the laptop, that i fail to notice something, for some reason now, intrudes into my peripheral vision. I can't quite help not looking at it while i am typing. It is like a itch you cannot relieve because it only exist in your mind, or in your inner left eyelid. I am now wondering what had happened to my laptop while i was away at work. A reason for my screen to have a thin green line (not red) running down the left hand side (measuring 2 1/2 inches) all of a sudden.

I noticed that there is a streak of fastidiousness within me these days. Perhaps it was something innate but i have only noticed it gaining prominance once i started working. There is a need to be in control, for things to be in comprehensible, explanable order. That in itself is rather disturbing since i have always pride myself as being adaptable and flexible. On further reflection, i think i am both flexible and inflexible to some degrees depending on the situation.

What to eat forBreakfast/lunch/dinner: flexible
The order of food eaten on my plate: inflexible
How i want my therapy room to be arranged: flexible
Where to keep my working materials: inflexible
Where to go with friends: flexible
What movies to watch: flexible
The order of comic strips i read on the Life Section: inflexible
How i write: flexible
Views on how i write: inflexible
When to meet: flexible
When to be met: flexible
Morals: flexible inflexible

I can be extremely rigid on how i want certain things accomplished. I often say that my mind is on a perpetual mode for looking at short-cuts, the "best" way for doing something. Why spend more time doing something which can be done for less time? And trusting that the method i am already set on is the most efficent one, why should i attempt to do it another way? But only for things that i feel strongly about. Similarly i may also have very strong or set opinions on subjects which i care about. It could range from how i read my comics to religion. Fortunately for friends and family, I don't feel strongly for things that very often. So i can rightly say i don't care what movies to watch, what to have for dinner, anyone else can make the decision. It gives the appearance that i am rather easy going, which generally, i am of course.

Back to the thin green line. It irritates me. It irritates not for the fact that it is there. It irritates me because i cannot explain how it got there. If it was anything involving me and my property which i cannot explain, i have a tendency to break out in a bout of irritation. Of course, how badly hit i am is directly proportional to how attached i am to the object. So this part of my rigidity and fastidiousness is not often seen (except close friends and family).